The Doll in the Derby is the fourteenth episode of the eighth season of Bones.


Two rookie cops talk a big game, but quickly turn to squealing and screeching when they discover a horribly mutilated body and a giant pool of blood. Time to call in the professionals. Bones and Booth are on their way to the crime scene when Booth says he is heading to the hospital. "I can help if you need me to," Bones says. Booth dismisses her. "I'll be fine," he says.

Later, the two arrive on the scene. Bones determines that the remains were emitted from a drain pipe. "Looks the guy melted," Booth notes. Bones corrects him: the victim is female ... but, yes, the body appears to be dissolving. Back at the lab, Hodgins announces that it is Wendell's birthday. He is 29 and feeling awkward about it because he hasn't accomplished enough, apparently. So, of course, Hodgins teases him mercilessly. The victim's remains, meanwhile, show signs of physical abuse while her fancy watch stopped at 12:29 a.m. and shows a high heart rate before death.

Sweets interviews the woman's husband, a trauma surgeon named Bradley Perkins. They've been separated for one year. "She had decided that I was, ah, stodgy," Burns says. "I don't beat up ex-wives." Booth and Bones head back to the crime scene and discover a roller derby rink next door. About two dozen women skate around the track, throwing hips and elbows. The victim was on the team. A teammate named Susan and the coach, Nicky, explains the team played just last night and is like a family. Another player, Ivana, has also gone missing.

Back the lab, Hodgins and Wendell theorize that the victim was beaten with a skate. The conversation turns to bucket lists -- it being Wendell's birthday and all -- and Wendall accidentally lets it slip that he posed naked for the artist Angela. Speaking of Angela, she goes to Camille and asks about Booth, who went to the hospital for reasons nobody seems to know. Camille then finds plenty of drugs in the victim's system. Booth brings in Ivana for questioning. "She lived a pretty wild life," says Ivana, who explains that the victim once had sex with a man on the lawn outside of her ex-husband's house. Ouch.

The team needs to get inside that rink, but who might fit in? Angela volunteers. Posing as "Smackie Kennedy," she heads to tryouts for the Derby Dolls team. A montage of skating, hitting, and falling later, Smackie earns a spot on the roster. In the locker room, she starts examining skates with a black light looking for blood spatters. Unfortunately, there is blood on all the skates. It's a violent game, after all. Angela and Susan then go out for a drink. Booth arrives and Angela pretends they're boyfriend and girlfriend. When Susan passes out from too many beers, Angela tells Booth that she has found out that Nicky was accused by the victim of skimming money from ticket sales.

Booth brings in Nicky for questioning. Nicky, in turn, accuses the victim of robbing the team. He then admits he was sleeping with the dead woman. They were at a bar a few nights before he death and ran into Burns. She threw a drink at her ex-husband after trying to make him jealous. Camille then heads to the hospital to inquire about Booth, but the doctor won't spill medical secrets. The doctor is a specialist who treats a genetic disorder that causes (usually benign) tumors in children. Is Christine ill? Again, the doctor won't say.

Back at the lab, Wendell determines that the victim was carved up with a wood saw. Oddly, it also appears that the victim was given what appears to be CPR after death. Bones determines that the chest compressions were performed to pump blood out of the severed arteries. Only a medical professional would know to do that. So, Booth brings in Burns for a few more questions. He denies any involvement in his ex-wife's death ... and then requests a lawyer.

Back at the lab, Hodgins and Wendell find fluid on the victim's shirt consistent with eyeball material. So the dead woman was stabbed in the eyes. And additional materials reveal it was done with keys. Burns has no keys -- his house is equipped with touch pads -- so Booth and Bones go to the rink and collect keys from all the coach and all the ladies. Ivana's keys are a match. As a physical therapist, she knew a bit of anatomy. She killed her teammate for stealing from the team. Case closed. Later, Hodgins and Angela take Wendell out for drinks for his birthday. He brings the nude painting of himself ... with boxer shorts drawn over his unmentionables. Everybody has a good laugh.

Later, it is revealed that Booth was at the hospital because he was organizing a carnival for all of the children with the genetic condition. So Christine isn't sick. Booth was just doing a good deed and didn't want anybody to know.


Main CastEdit

Intern of the weekEdit

Guest CastEdit

Featured MusicEdit

  • TBA


  • TBA

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